my wife doesn't touch me sexually anymore

I am Married 47 years, I am 67 she is 70. In recent times, our sex life has begun to resemble our early 20s again, even better because contraception is in the rearview mirror. I understand all the reasons she doesnt want sex except one, if she actually loves me wouldnt there be some effort? I was faithful to my beautiful redhead for 27 yrs, and I never got tired of making love to her. Be the man who won her heart! Avoiding divorce, men have two choices, acceptance/celibacy or cheating. I would leave and strive to take care of her financial needs until she is able to take care of herself or meets a man her age or older who is happy as a roommate. Our house is free and clear which is due to my earning a lot over 30 years and being conservative with money. Weve been married for 26 years, she is 51, and she has had maybe 4 years total where she was interested in sex. If your wife feels less overburdened with household responsibilitiesand sees you making an active effort to take on your share of the loadyou might find she has more time, energy, and interest in sex. * RECOMMENDED CONFIGURATION VARIABLES: EDIT AND UNCOMMENT If she isnt satisfied in bed, it could be that shes tired of initiating intimacy only to be left wanting. So not only will your wife not want to touch you, but you probably wont want her to anymore. Help out around the house and stop making your wife do everything. He is overly stressed from work. You have grown as a human being . Harley, yeah I believe men are more likely to complain then women in places like this. If you think your wife avoids intimacy because of an underlying condition, its best to seek medical help at the earliest. Shortly after, our daughter in law and our granddaughters moved out of state. I wont lecture: youve all read about it. If you have gone through months or years of being patient with your wife and still arent feeling physically connected, it may be time for, Are You Ready to Start Dating Again Ask Yourself These 5 Questions, Research shows that women who had a positive view of themselves, reported higher levels of intimate encounters, 30 Foreplay Ideas That Will Surely Spice up Your Sex Life, This can be difficult since, statistically, couples are, to talk about sexual matters the same way they would other conflicts, such as children or finances. If the lack of interest becomes an ongoing pattern, consider any of the above potential reasons. If done with the full knowledge of both partners, and always using safe sex, this would provide another solution to their dilemma. I am beginning to think that we are supposed to get old. Women provide fertility, nurturing, and resourcefulness. Now whats so hard about that. He is either not attracted to you, depressed, or preoccupied. He keeps saying hell do better, but nothing ever happens! Were currently stuck at #3, but I have a feeling #1 is gaining ground and will ultimately prevail. And for the love of god stop watching fake porn. A pill? If you have a hunch your wife is dealing with body image issues, gently bring it up with her, and see if there are ways you can support herwithout making it seem like you're critiquing her body or suggesting she needs to change the way she looks. Seems to me that sex is more important to most guys than it is for a woman. How can a person be so shallow that they base their lifelong relationship on whether or not their wife can help them empty their balls? According to my research MOST sexless couple dont divorce. She is 33. I feel Im too old to do anything to cause me to have to be alone. She knows this is a psychological problem and doesnt reflect how I feel about her. You cant really blame her, can you? Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? The health setback added to a divorce and two children to support has made life difficult. The Bible says to not deny one another because it leads to stumbling. Its super annoying if he touches my breasts because I get aroused and then we just cant get it going and then so much unanswered frustration comes. Fun-loving, Honest and Straightforward. Fix it. But this woman kept me in her heart and mind for fifty years. You risk losing it all for the same quick minute that you already have with your wife. My wife never initiates any form of Intimacy let alone Sex. Wow wish my hubby was so attentive as you! I think that the advice to seek a trained sex therapist, and the encouragement to increase communication between this man and his wife is appropriate and excellent. At your age, dont run until you exhaust all your options. For the writer of this letter/question . While its good to get to the root of the problem so you can resume a healthy. They seem just as happy as any other married couple. If shes not in the mood neither am I . I like the martyr thing, but its no B.S. However, if both partners are not okay with a sexless marriage, your relationship wont survive. Also, look into the idea of responsive desire and make sure you understand it. Even if he cant accept the divorce is coming!!! Therapy will help you identify the issues underlying the lack of sex, teach you how to communicate more effectively, give you strategies for regaining your intimacy if shes willing, and tools for coping if shes not, and offer you the boost you need to work on your relationship. Wow! You said, So my question to the men here. I absolutely adore my wife/partner I love her dearly and would do anything for her. She may not understand the first time around, but if you keep trying, perhaps shell understand the need to maintain a balance between her roles as a mother and a wife. Praying for these husbands. You may be ok with the situation youve created.. thats one thing, but to act as though youre merely tolerating the situation as a martyr is pure BS. The fact that she cant be bothered to take a few minutes in the shower to manually make things right tells you everything you need to know. only will your wife not want to touch you, but you probably wont want her to anymore. Joan Price is the authorof several books including The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50 andthe award-winning self-help bookNaked at Our Age.Visit Joans blog, Naked at Our Age and herFacebook page. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves.com/newsletter. We signed for our first mortgage when she was in ICU with fourth-stage cancer. Ive been humiliated, rejected and told you can have love without sex, because, after all, cripples cant have sex but they still have love. Try a new sexual position, make more of an effort to engage in foreplay, or introduce new outfits or props into your sex life. Bring back date night (without the pressure to have sex), or simply spend more time talking to each other about your inner worlds: your feelings, your fears, your frustrations, your hopes and dreams. Arguments and maltreatment are nothing to put up with. She has the house and I have my private place seperate from the main house. What men want is for her to have some of that drive back. I know couples who watch it together and I believe my wife and her friend are closed minded and in denial of their contribution, or lack thereof in being that person who can meet the wants and needs of their husbands. Sounds like you should try therapy. As well as almost no feeling there as well. She said, YOU WILL LOOK AT OTHER WOMEN?! 3. And the source of so many sleepless nights is that person who promised to love and honor us until death dobus part and who still possess a mouth and fingers and the ability to do just that. I have (age 60+) gone right off sex. Ive been teaching this to other young men for some time. There are books that can help guide you. If your wife avoids intimacy constantly, paying attention to the emotional bond you share with her may be a good starting point. It isnt about the phone or computer. Do you feel my wife never initiates intimacy? She put in over $300K on our $1M house and I told her we may need to sell it when my youngest graduates high school. She apologies oh well. Yes, totally wrong. I hate her for cheating me out of sex. Most women, especially in our age group, only experience responsive desire. She has just lost interest. I have tried joint with promises of renewal and never worked. If you must you could think castration out of love. But when I try to go to the next level. My nephews, 1x/month on average, so I dont over do with outside the marriage things at all nor overspend, AT ALL. Now ASAP get a life please. 10. As a matter of fact, if shes not enjoying herself, I stop. We married late, were both 40, and our sex life was fantastic. I can offer a small piece of advise. It was even suggested I try penile injections at bedtime so I can at least get hard for her pleasure. only issue. and I feel I have been cheated. For others that are on the borderline of this happening: I am 50 and she is 45 but she began having the same symptom that you described. My Wife Doesn't Want Me Sexually (My Wife Never Touches Me Anymore) Its one less thing to think about or do. Accept her no lovingly, masturbate, and initiate again another day. It destroyed us and our marriage for all intents and purposes. Behind heart broken!!! Be explicit about your needs and expectations. Hi Monica, You ladies need to get hip on new Sex Play & Sex Toys, My wife of 1yr,(she is 73) ( Im 77) We were having sex every nite & 3 times on weekendsand it all came to a STOP about a month ago. She has her own retail business, which cash flows, but has hasnt turned a profit in the last 5 years. Add to this many complications: conditioning from childhood, feeling you are being used for someone elses pleasure, not being attracted, not meeting your partner at the same emotional level. Even books on men not wanting sex place the responsibility on the woman. Were communicating better but no changes to our sex life even though he has plenty of blue pills. My 20 year marriage imploded because my husband completely lost his testosterone at age 55. I dont have a problem with a sexless marriage, in fact I created it in our marriage. When you first met her you were in an OTHER zone. That lie: its not important, only if you want it. I wouldnt even care if he watched or joined. Ya over 40 years with out not a problem. Our marriage became almost sexless in 2006 when our 17 year old son was killed in an accident. We could have worked it out. Couples can even have a thriving sex life during their 40s, if they wish to do so. Loved sexI mean with exuberance and joy. We have had a fall out now and it is the elephant Im 15 years younger than my husband. 4 Things to Teach Your Kids to Stand Up For, 5 Things Teens Need But Wont Ever Ask For, 4 Things You Can Do When Youre Not in the Mood, 20 Great Conversation Starters for Great Marriages. Leah 09. Life is so wonderful! Or some reasons could be the female body experiencing pain, limitations, hormonal imbalances, etc. He may still be impotent after surgery, no guarantees. It got to the point that he wanted sex badly and was about to lose his mind. Peace. I told him we could stay married/faithful to each other without any type of sex/sexual contact. And everyone under his authority flourishes. I agree, once they stop theres nothing thats going to get them interested or willing to do it again. My wife never trys to turn me on or initiate sex. please i do not want to go outside the marriage so i guess living with the problem is the. I am a 52 year old woman who has had a hysterectomy and has gone through menopause and I have always had a high libido and still do. If 2 people really love love,then they will find ways to please each other. so I started to do it. It might be time for you to be more responsible and let your wife have some me-time. Pamper her with a spa day or take her out on a nice vacation for two, to break the monotony and give her the relaxation she truly needs and deserves. Be true to yourself, and your children. I was not going to reward her or fall into another hug with nothing more than a few seconds of holding, and then a push off. Very sad!!! My sexual desire just stopped. I went through marital counseling before the wedding. I live in my garage, shop, apartment and happy as clam no yelling and name calling. We must have sex or blow up, not a choice. . I mean, we have a nightly generic kiss and slight hug say goodnight. Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. You should consider a strap on dildo, the size and width are your choice. I asked her how long will this take for you to get over this panic stuff. And really dont know what to do. Ask if there is something you can do to make sex more enjoyable for her. Ive always wanted sex more than she has, though the first years were pretty satisfying for both of us. I suppose that his stomach, which is huge, the fact that he cant really get hard, and the fact that sex takes forever are some of the reasons why I no longer want to have sex. So to the Men out there (here) complaining about their sexless marriagesMove On! There are always two sides to a story, and I dont want to paint her as an uncaring wife. I miss the simple things. Im throwing my partner out the door due to his rants and anger over lack of sex. Tell her how much I love her. The guy is a magnet! So we settle. Now I definitely feel more like the odd woman out after reading all those men complaining about lack of sex!I am 45 had a hysterectomy 3 years ago, so menopause was forced on me.I still feel like a horny B*** latina! Anyway, I was so turned on by this guy (in love too)that just seeing him or us simply hugging was a major Turn-On. He wears it and with a little imagination it can work just like the real thing. You can set things right on this front by planning special dates and mini-vacations so that you can both focus on each other and your relationship without worrying about work, finances, kids and other things. BIG ZERO, NADA FOR 18 MONTHS NOW! I agree with Roger, I get more laughs, and more insight, from the comment section! Now its more about independence- Im tired of living in my spouses value system . We men are so caught up in our egos . I am not happy at not having anymore sex in my life at age 64, but I do care for her and she does care for me, not in the sexual way of course. Dont hold it against her. You can be honest while also being flexible and compassionate. I am planning a divorce, as I wont live out the remaining 20-30 years of my life without love and affection. Wednesday, August 30, 2017 We cant really talk about it because the very subject causes her great depression because she feels like its all her fault and that she is failure as a lover. Life is definitely funny. Then we got married and had kids (not that I regret) but 20 years of pulling teeth juts to get touched or even desired really hurts. Start by losing the weight, shaving the body, washing daily, put some effort into youre own self and for Christs sake, clean up after yourself. Take time to learn about the secrets of sex all women wish men knew, learn your way around her body and plan a special evening together. At 20 years I did start having a partner on the side because I was very sexually frustrated and that partner within the same situation. I wonder if it could be depression (something he wouldnt admit to), but its been going on a long time. Counseling is usually the way out but unfortunately most people in a relationship dont want to go that route (or at least one of them doesnt). Sucks to be me, right! Males are not embarrassed about describing a frigid or non sexual wife, but they will never mention their own lack of desire and often get angry if their partner inquires as to why? Weve all heard the answer to no Sex is stop having Sex? I know we are very different people and and I am not trying to change her as much as letting her know the effects of being so distant and often dismissing my feelings yet I have to be totally responsive to her to keep her happy. Rich B, I am 64 and my wife has withheld sex with me for the the last 5 years. You are not catering to her sexual needs, How To Survive A Sexless Marriage Without Cheating, build a successful relationship after cheating, communication exercises with your partner, 10 Things To Do When You Are Drifting Apart In Your Relationship. Go be the cat lady then. Never did I roll over and fall asleep, and always tried to give her an orgasm until I had one. Men dont want to force their wives into sex, nor do they want to beg for it. She understands that its hard for me, but we both dont know what to do about the situation. You should be glad that your wife is still with you your ass would have been out the door the first time you ever tried to tell me what to do oh and by the way Ive been married 20 years and my husband has NEVER told me what to do we both have great paying jobs and are very independent I have a Daddy and he stopped telling me what to do when I was 17. I found a wonderful woman gynecologist, and she put me on low dose hormone therapy. Whether male or female, each of us made a promise to love and honor our partners either through marriage or by living together. What r u holding on for?! Or a genuine, romantic, butterflies-in-the-stomach exchange? About 10 % Love 90% Hate. While my wife does not do drugs or anything like that, she has lost the interest for sex. There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. Two years and counting, its got me climbing the walls! That can happen because of a lack of communication, a lack of understanding or just misinterpreting what their spouse is thinking. Dont you dare accuse all men of being selfish and unhelpful. Your email address will not be published. Got lost there. He is a selfish person he is only thinking of himself. Lame! He has performance anxiety. But my wife was not. My wife did not give me your three choices, but they are still there. If your sex life is devoid of experimenting with new sexual positions, role play, dressing up, creating a sensual ambiance, theres a chance that the same sexual routine has become boring and tiresome for your wife and she has started avoiding all physical contact. Mates but l want to .feel loved , should l hang lt up and move on ty. Noah loves to write on matters of the heart and mind. Feel like I have him a lifetime!!! But maybe if shes willing to try your weekly sex date again, she might find that once youve aroused her, the mood sails in. Laura. Soon thereafter, she lost interest altogether and would reject me, citing we would schedule a weekend session which never occurred. I was reading the original story and that exactly my life. Im to the point where Id be happy with an occasional peck on the cheek. Thats crazy my husband is the one who is lacking in wanting orgasms, I still need them daily so I continue with out him, I am tired of all the good years I wasted on him waiting lol our kids are grown and gone I still love sex!