But he observes that we dont need to accept such reflexive reactions. (and then actually following it!). The following collection of quotes are all about control and the power that we do have. We can control our actions, the goals we pursue, the values we adopt, and our mental attitudes. SZA, You either get bitter or you get better. 2009-2023 Power of Positivity. We can't control external circumstances, the weather, other people and events from happening that we have no influence over. You very well may need to learn particular skills in making some changes. My mission from that day forward was to grow up and take control of my life. Spending your time thinking about the things you cant control will affect your mental health and well-being. As the saying goes, "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it -Charles R. Swindoll." This mindset is particularly relevant in today's fast-paced and ever-changing business . This freedom is not bound by what others say or do. You can only change how you think, feel and act and lead by example." ~ Celestine Chua My forgiveness levels - I know life can be challenging sometimes, especially when things have happened that were deeply harmful and/or hurtful. We Can Control How We Respond to Things We Can't Control We Can Control How We Respond to Things We Can't Control By Laura Fenamore "When we can no longer change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves." ~Viktor Frankl Every year, March 13 th is difficult for me. You might also realize that your parents tended to be critical, leaving you to believe that you always fall short. Dont do things that benefit you, at the expense of others. Learning to let go and focus only on what you can control can make all the difference in your well-being. Then, let go of what you cant change and spend your time focusing on getting to where you need to be. | Justice. In the end, the world is as you are inside. This overrides the extra rounded corners on search inputs in iOS so that our\n// `.form-control` class can properly style them. It takes a bad situation and makes it worse. - Jeffrey Gitomer. Take responsibility for our lives and recognize that we choose, What we believe spirit visitors to be influences how they affect our lives. Background image by: Sebastian Aguilar https://flic.kr/p/23Yy3HB Dalai Lama You are insane whenever you are not in control of your behavior. When you focus on those things, you can get through anything and overcome unexpected events. Finding Yourself, February 22, 2023 1. But, the woman who sent this email stood out not just because the quote was so appropriate today, but because she was so nice about the whole thing. Perhaps it requires drawing on your inner wisdom to accept conditions you cannot change. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. What change are you dealing with now, and how are you responding to it? We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can always control how we react. Educate: dont spread misinformation about the virus. You can focus on the parts of your life that you can control, improving your future. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If you would like to get a quote on a new 2019 Honda Gold Wing Tour use our Build Your Own tool .2019 Honda Gold Wing Tour Automatic DCT $24,999 Miles 7,689 Pricing is BEFORE UVC, tax, title, lic & negotiable doc fee of up to $200.00 that can be added to the sale price. And dont forget that for now our testing supply is sorely limited; do your best not to tie up the critical resource of COVID-19 tests, and avoid being a hypochondriac. If you have trouble breathing, are an older adult (70+), have pre-existing lung conditions or are immunocompromised, be ready to call your doctor or visit an ER. The one thing over which we can exert, and maintain control of, is our self and the way we respond to any, and every, situation. To be able to spread the only positive form of contagion there is: calm. Sometimes, for peace of mind, we need a little reminder of what is and what isnt in the realm of our control. Note that it happened, whether intentionally or not. Remember that happiness is a choice you get to make. Wash your hands often, cover your nose when you sneeze, avoid large public gatherings, cancel unnecessary travel and work meetings. No one individual can accomplish this by themselves, but each of us, acting rightly, collectively, can make a big difference. It can be hard to accept the truth when things dont work out the way you hoped they would. It stares you in the face. Observe the outcome of your reactions: Pay close attention to the results of your reactions. Refresh the. Id be lying if I said we had it figured out yet, but we will certainly do the best we can to retain the trust and confidence we have worked so hard to build. To slow the spread of the virus until our hospitals can handle them. Youll constantly desire a life you cant have, upsetting your well-being and affecting your future. I often ask clients to download a habit tracker on their smartphone and track how long they can keep accepting a difficult situation until it no longer causes them misery. Votes: 1, Natural disasters are terrifying - that loss of control, this feeling that something is just going to randomly end your life for absolutely no reason is terrifying. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Michelle Obama. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. To prevent the unnecessary spreading of the virus. So, if our emotions are our barometer of how we move through life, it makes sense that negative emotions are alerting us to something wrong with our thoughts or actions. To put aside irrational thoughts and develop a plan to keep us moving forward. If you struggle with certain aspects of yourself, consider finding your space to respond, rather than reflexively react, by doing the following: Consider the person you would like to be: Think about the person you would like to be, especially in the areas in which you struggle. It's easy to get worked up and create an even worse situation for yourself because the only thing we have control over is how we react to the situations at hand. Remember what youre working toward. Controlling that beast, that dark side, is what fascinates me. If you want to take the practice further, try extending it for another day and keep going for seven days or more. After all, when we accept life as it is, we are free to act in accordance with reality and liberate ourselves from holding on to negative emotions. Practice social distancing: as much as possible, stay away from people outside of your family. Make self-care a priority. For instance, you might be impatient because you imagine failing to fix problems, and so you experience great anxiety. Leonardo da Vinci, Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. There are no assurances, but you will have changed anyway and found inner peace, which is more important than trying to change other people. Wisdom. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Transitions are the birthing pains, alternately exhilarating and difficult, that can bring wondrous, challenging, beautiful changes into our lives. Can Humans Detect Text by AI Chatbot GPT? Unknown 135 Likes Humor quotes All Rights Reserved. Think about the meaning or origin of your reactions: There is a reason that you react as you do. You change your circumstances. They may or may not be relevant for your particular situation; and they should not be relied upon as a substitute for professional assistance. The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. This year has been difficult for many reasons political turmoil, economic chaos, a global pandemic and I know that many people are feeling helpless and out of control. (If what you are facing is not a choice to be happy but rather depression, seek help and know you are not alone.). I do worry about my family though. We can only control what we can control. I want you to take over control. It saps your energy and time, and the result remains the same. We can watch this urge to act irrationally arise, then let it go away. COVID-19 is here. Instead, make sure others know how to best handle the spread of the virus. The mantra thing. Think of a time you tried to control someone or a situation to suit you. Making Change blog posts are for general educational purposes only. Taking a time-out and removing yourself from the situation is an effective strategy to prevent overreaction and resolve conflict in a relationship. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Cursing the origin of the virus. This site is not intended to provide, and does not constitute, medical, health, legal, financial or other professional advice. Votes: 4 By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. When life and liberty are on the line. Instead, we can learn to notice that there is a space before we react. Could you do this? What You Need to Know If You Obsess About Weight Loss, On Making Positive Choices for a Happy, Empowered Life, If You Hate Your Body and Think You Need to Fix It, Relationship anxiety/commitment fear or just not the one, Something I realized about my anxiety attacks, Someone called me ugly and my gf agreed (indirectly), One of the Most Freeing Things We Learn in Life, 30 Simple Mindfulness Practices to Help You Focus and Be Present, 8 Things Not to Say to Someone Whos Struggling with Anxiety, Nothing You Do Will Be Enough If the Relationship Isnt Right, How I Stopped Being Everything I Hated About My Parents, How Restrictive Diets Mess with Our Brains and Lead to Bingeing. Votes: 1 Mary Lambert Natural disasters are terrifying - that loss of control, this feeling that something is just going to randomly end your life for absolutely no reason is terrifying. And with that, we can find inner happiness. About how we feel, actually we can control it, that's like to choose to think positive or negative. As you read through, choose your favorite quotations and post them in a place youll see them often. There are things we can control and the things we can't control. "Change is not a four letter wordbut often your reaction to it is!". The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Although most of us realize what we control and do not control, we live as though we do not really know, and in some cases we spend years focusing on things we cannot control. Anger only makes things worse. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. Happy to read and share the best inspirational How We React quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes. Its a mistake!. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. With our example, you might note how your impatience makes it impossible for you to effectively solve problems. Dont let the things you cant control hold you back and control your feelings. It may be difficult at first, but the advantages of non-resistance overshadow the effects of holding on tightly to a situation beyond your control. All rights reserved. 1. Focusing only on the things you can control in life will help you move forward and find success. Therefore, we unchain ourselves from the bondage of control, and are free to choose how we respond. That's free will. All through this ordeal, though, I firmly believe and draw strength from the quote found in that one womans email. No imprecision in your thoughts. Where then do I look for good and evil? So we can acquire wisdom from tragedy and danger. If you feel sick, stay at home. Dwelling on negativity from the past simply contributes to its power. Home Quotes Life Quotes Control Quotes An Inspiring Reminder of What We Can Control. Unsubscribe at any time. One must fight for a life of action, not reaction. To put aside irrational thoughts and develop a plan to keep us moving forward. Ask yourself whether you could accept the situation as it is, even if it is for one day. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. What is crucial when moving through a crisis is maintaining self-awareness. No role is so well suited to philosophy as the one you happen to be in right now.. All rights Reserved. We won't send you spam. He only made it to 26. Stoicism holds that the key to a good, happy life is the cultivation of an excellent mental state, which the Stoics identified with virtue and being rational. The 2 Most Psychologically Incisive Films of 2022, The Surprising Role of Empathy in Traumatic Bonding, How a Stronger Body Can Transform Your Identity, Two Questions to Help You Spot a Clingy Partner-to-Be. Dont do things that benefit you, at the expense of others. No matter what happens in your life or the world around you, remember the things you can fix. Kelley York What we need from you now is what weve always needed and talked about here: Courage. Many of my clients have started or grown their businesses during challenging times. (Marc and I build tiny, life-changing daily rituals with our students in the "Goals and Growth" module of Getting Back to Happy .) We can try to control our thinking . Looking at what happened when I received that email, my immediate response was to get upset. They become a problem only when . The dangers lurking in the market can be hidden or delayed, but never eliminated. I can control my emotions, my attitude, my effort every day. Power is not about trying to control or manipulate other people because, ultimately, it backfires on us. So we can acquire wisdom from tragedy and danger. If it isnt where you live, there is a good chance it will be soon. You dont have control over your situation. What will you choose? 2018 - 2023 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Winston Churchill. Keep a positive attitude and choose happiness and gratitude no matter what. We realize this well-being and fight this virus by the choices we make right now. This is true power. There will be storms, but if you stay focused, youll get there. Learn, accept, explore, create and experience, every single day, one tiny step at a time. And to prevent unnecessary overloading of medical professionals, emergency services, airlines, and other critical infrastructure, so that the people who actually need it can access it. Darren L Johnson 4 Likes Sponsored Links You can't always control who walks into your life but you can control which window to throw them out. The goal now is to flatten the curve. Votes: 3 Required fields are marked *. The ideal life is one that is in . Marilu Henner, The reason many people in our society are miserable, sick, and highly stressed is because of an unhealthy attachment to things they have no control over. The root of suffering doesn't come from what we experience, but rather from, You see, events occur throughout our lives that forever alter us, and it is. You cant control how long youll need to engage in social distancing, but you can control if you spend that time productively. He was gone, and my life changed that day forever. Billy Cox, No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy unless you let him. No retreating into your own soul, or trying to escape it. So, when faced with something you cant control, turn your focus to how you react instead. It was my sister Elizabeths 17th birthday and the day that my brother Jimmy, whom I worshipped, died. I can't control how people react to the work I do. Remember that panic doesnt help. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Expressed differently: trying to control reality is a recipe for pain and suffering because we are limited in who and what we can control. My sisters and I called each other and just said his name out loud. No overactivity. 0 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Rogue Fitness: NEW RECORD Tamara Walcott beats her previous record in the. And now, we are settling into damage control mode - attempting to determine who did receive the faulty emails and beginning to determine the best way to reach out to them and apologize without making matters worse. You cant control these things, so focusing your attention on other tasks and ideas is the best option. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Each morning we send a short (~500 word) email inspired by Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and more. It's almost as if we each have a vampire inside us. You cant fix everything, but you can always maintain your attitude. No one walks through life unscathed, and it's, We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we can always control. We are all individually the answer, in the choices we make. In it, he implies that people often react without thinking. In fact, happiness is something you get to choose, regardless of your circumstances. Earl Nightingale, The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. I knew that, to honor Jimmy, I would never go back home. Wash your hands often, cover your nose when you sneeze, avoid large public gatherings, cancel unnecessary travel and work meetings. It is not bound by what happens to you, because a person who is accepting of reality is free to choose their attitude. I have great respect for Victor Frankl. You know what is the worst thing about being rejected? Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. They control the media. Our focus and energy needs to be on the things we can control. Life can feel totally out of control sometimes. A lot of times we" ManageCamp Inc.9249 S. Broadway, Unit 200 - #331Littleton, CO 80122, 2014 - 2022 ManageCamp Inc. All rights reserved. Similarly, you dont have to like what is taking place, but accepting it lessens your pain and suffering and allows you to choose inner peace and freedom. Try not to blame yourself or others. She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things. There are things in the world we can control and things that we cannot. People will disappoint us and circumstances will not always be favorable, so trying to control reality can only result in pain and misery. "Anger is an unnecessary emotion. Learn more atOnePinky.com. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. The only thing that we can control about change is how we react to it. 11. Imagine doing them and the consequences of this. In that space is our power to choose our response. Cancel or postpone events if you have them. At the end of the day, we will rest easy knowing that we have done our best. You can't control others' acts, but you can control your reaction to their acts, and that is what counts most to you. The Buddha says: In life, we cannot control the first arrow because it represents the unexpected conditions of life. We hope that they inspire you too: A man has to learn that he cannot command things, but that he can command himself; that he cannot coerce the wills of others, but that he can mold and master his own will: and things serve him who serves Truth; people seek guidance of him who is master of himself. No amount of yelling at the TV will make it go away. Before using the site, please read our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. We can only do it for ourselves. Reaction is what changes your understanding of the world. There will always be people who misinterpret them, but you can try to help them understand. In fact, severe anger is a form of insanity. Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in the early 3rd century BCE.It is a philosophy of personal virtue ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world, asserting that the practice of virtue is both necessary and sufficient to achieve eudaimonia (happiness, lit. Happiness isnt just a result of your circumstances. The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we cant. Controlling that beast, that dark side, is what fascinates me. We discover unlimited possibilities, and by accepting all that is, it gives you the freedom to be yourself. However how we react, what we think and what we choose to do is. You have to redefine what beauty is to you so you cant be affected by what people are saying. What matters is not what other people are doing or have done, but what you do. If you can make the switch, youll quickly notice that you become happier. But he observes that we don't need to accept such reflexive. Slowly stock up with non-perishable foods and goods so that others can do the same. He was a man from whom we can learn something about what it means to be human and how to be our bestsometimes in spite of our inclinations. James Allen, The sign of an intelligent people is their ability to control their emotions by the application of reason. Once we accept what we cannot change, we are no longer chained to them and can experience inner peace and freedom. Some places we live offer more freedom than others. They can be business associates, fellow colleagues, friends, or even family members and relatives. That's dangerous. During tough times, our emotions run the gamut: denial, anger, fury, despair, numbness, isolation, desperation. There will be storms, but if you stay focused, you'll get there. Subscribe to get our free Daily Stoic email. It reminds me of the tale of The Two Arrows, in which the Buddha tells of a person being struck by an arrow which causes them pain. Even if you feel healthy, even if the person youre visiting seems to be in good health, the safest option is to wait to see them. them, when it counts. When you cant control something in your life, its normal to become upset about it. In order to heal, we must feel. If you feel sick, stay at home. Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.45. Bill Belichick, At the end of the day, you cant control the results; you can only control your effort level and your focus. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Psychology and the Mystery of the "Poisoned" Schoolgirls. No amount of yelling at the TV will make it go away. Along those lines, dont tie up medical resources that you dont need. I choose to embrace it! Steve Maraboli, Control what you can control. Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor's Degree in Literature from Baker College. Learn to accept the things you cant control so that you can focus on what you can. If we can't control the viruses that attack our bodies, or the cancerous cells that attack our veins, what can we control? When you can do this, you have shown bravery and control of yourself. So stop focusing on what happened and start focusing on whats going to move you forward. Batch your online orders if youre stocking up to reduce the need for inefficient shipments and stress on already stressed supply chains. Make them remote-access, if possible. Perhaps it was a family member, a friend, or an intimate partner you tried to control. Self-quarantine and self-isolate: if you believe you may have been exposed to COVID-19, stay in your home for two weeks to keep others safe. Your mindset can determine how you deal with the mishaps that occur in your life. No matter what else is happening, you can manage your thoughts and feelings. 37:39 You are the only one who can change the pattern of your life. Napoleon Hill. I was 11; Jimmy (as I said) was 26. Where then do I look for good and evil? Collection of top 36 famous quotes about How We React. The choice does not belong to fate, it belongs to you. Elon Musk, All I can control is myself and just keep having a positive attitude. Votes: 1, It's almost as if we each have a vampire inside us. We can't control other people and we can't control our environment (we can create it, just not completely control it). Steve Maraboli, I dont have any control over what actually happens except for that I have full control over my will for myself, my intention, and why Im there. Many people include quotes at the bottom of their emails some inspirational, some from movies, some just whimsical but this one had very specific meaning for us today: You cant always control what happens, but you can control how you react.. Chinese Proverb, Control your thoughts. Practice shifting your mindset to the things you can control, and youll get much further in life. Remember what you're working toward. The quotes will remind you to focus on the things that matter most. A relational bond built on mutual control simply cannot produce anything remotely like safety, love, or trust. Sometimes that takes a few seconds, other times it means we should remove ourselves politely from the situation and let ourselves cool down before we respond. Laurais a frequent contributor to First for Women, Ladies Home Journal, and the Dr. Pat Show. Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid for I am your God. Cursing the origin of the virus, being racist, perpetuating conspiracy theories, and hoarding toilet paper will not save you. However, once you acknowledge that you cant change it and decide to let it go, youll feel free again. We have less freedom as children than adults. Ultimately, life is not about trying to control others or external conditions because these things are out of our control. Not only didnt the emails look the way they should, but even if someone could see past that and still want to click through, they couldnt. Avoid social events and public gatherings, work from home if possible. Or it could something more serious like a wheel bearing issue making the sensor gap too large. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control. will not save you. This our chance to. All trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners. What we have influence over and what we do not. Robert told us and then held me in his arms as I screamed, Thats not true! For more information see our. As Zeno famously said, Well-being is realized in small steps, but it is no small thing.. Albert Ellis, You will never have a greater or lesser dominion than that over yourself the height of a mans success is gauged by his self-mastery; the depth of his failure by his self-abandonment And this law is the expression of eternal justice. Neither will sticking your head in the sand and pretending its not that bad. All those are wasting your time that could be spent saving your life and others. A British expression characterizes any underhand or ungentlemanly behavior as "not cricket." The novelist Simon Raven subverted this idea when he remarked that cricket taught young people nothing. Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., is on the medical staff at the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital Somerset in New Jersey. Your email address will not be published. Instead, we ought to accept conditions as they are and change our perception of what is. Taking control of how you respond to any given situation starts with having a positive intelligence that allows you to identify your inner critic as well as what Shirzad calls your Sage--the. How Psychologically Conditioned Rats Are Defusing Landmines, The Most Important Part of Therapy Is Often Misunderstood, Compassionate Self-Awareness, A New Concept, 7 Ticking Time Bombs That Destroy Loving Relationships, The Single Best (and Hardest) Thing to Give Up, 3 Ways to Reclaim Your Hope and Happiness. Jimmy cant die! When we can no longerchangea situation, we are challenged tochangeourselves. ~Viktor Frankl. 'good spiritedness'): one flourishes by living an ethical life. What happened prior to the email going out was just dumb, bad luck no amount of preparation or caution could have helped avoid it. Stay at home even if you dont feel sick. Its so easy to be paralyzed by fear especially in a time like this. To prevent the unnecessary spreading of the virus. I love that! If it isnt where you live, there is a good chance it will be soon. We can control how we react. Things in life might not always work out the way you hoped they would. If you do not receive our FREE daily email, sign up here. However, when we checked on the progress of the email this morning, it became clear that things were not as they should be. She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah. Rather than wasting that energy, follow Bennetts advice and shift your focus to something you can create. With focus and effort, youre sure to reach your goals and find success in life. Even in a difficult situation, there are opportunities all around us if were willing to look for them.